Female quota and pro-female laws are not enough!

5 reasons why it’s essential for our society, business world and men that women empower themselves inside out. Plus 1 exercise how to do so.

Approaching the international WomenDay on 8th of March several articles where published again regarding  female quotes for top management positions. Even if I’m not a big fan of quotes, I understood from women in top positions that it is necessary to have them. Otherwise many of them hadn’t got the positions they have today.

But I experienced in my work as Vision Coach also that many women still don’t grab their opportunities. They lack self-confidence deep inside. And they still doubt and hesitate too much. 

Some of these women are in leadership positions, others not.  And I asked myself: „Why is this the case? Hasn’t it just been enough that they have great qualifications and are much more represented in leadership positions today?“

Looking back also on my personal career track and my inner transformational journey I’ve gone through the last years I came to the conclusion: „No, that’s not enough. We need more!“ We have to dive deeper into our inner universe. And not only women, but also men. And we have all the tools to do so today. By transforming ourselves we transform the world.

Therefore it’s a matter close to my heart to start my VisionBlog with an article about female empowerment and why it’s not only necessary for women but also for men, our society in general and the business world.

Let’s start! 

In case you are a woman, do you know one or more of the following situations?

• You get offered a great career opportunity. But you doubt if you are the right person, if you have enough experiences and the right qualification?
• You’re in a salary negotiation. You don’t ask for more. You’re already satisfied with what they offered you. Later you get to know that your male colleagues earn more doing the same job. But they’ve also asked for more.
• You’re in a workshop. Suddenly a journalist is interested in interviewing participants for a TV mission. Who raises the hands? Men or women?
• You’re sitting in a business meeting. What is the possibility that your male colleagues chose the best seats at the table for having quite a lot of space? They can spread their arms behind their head and cross their legs. Which seat did you select for yourself? Probably the one at the end of the table, where you can put your bag and everything else closely next to you, not taking too much space and not being in the center of attention.

As a consequence many women still leave the field to men. They don’t get what they want. And they can’t step into the fullness which life offers them.

In my opinion these cautious behavior patterns of women find their roots in their childhood and youth. Most of the time they’re a result of how they got educated as a girl. 

You might remember theses sentences which your parents or other people told you when you were a girl:

• „Don’t be so wild. You aren’t a boy!“
• „Don’t be so loud. Be a good girl!“
• „Don’t put yourself into the centre of attention. Only boys do this.“
• „Don’t demand so much. Be modest!“
• „Think of the others first before you think of yourself.“ 

If you grew up in this way these sentences are deeply fixed in your unconscious. And when you’re today in a business meeting, you apply for a new job, you’re asked to go on stage, or you negotiate your salary these sentences are still doing their job. 

The situations have changed, but the belief patterns you learnt many years ago as a girl have still an impact on your behavioral patterns today.

The good news are: Women can change this now. And they have to change it, in fact from the inside out.

In my opinion there are five reasons why women have to do their inner work. Otherwise we all won’t reach the visions we have for our society and business world.

1. Female quota, pro-women laws and rules will only be really successful if we as women do our inner work.

Therefore it is essential that we free ourselves from limiting beliefs and behavioral patterns, like the ones above, and love ourselves as we are with all our positive female qualities and step into our true inner power.

4. We have to embrace our female inner beauty and richness to develop and live our personal visions.

Creating and living our own visions means to think big, beyond our limits and comfort zone. Therefore we need to break out from old patterns and create new ones in which we live our female talents like e.g. empathy, intuition, collaboration, sensibility, creativity, multitasking with self-esteem and self-love.  

5. When women rise, men will rise, too! 

„What’s my advantage?“ men might ask.

Women who are doing their inner work and stepping into their true female power in a positive sense are a personal development booster for men. By doing so women challenge men to dive into their own personal development process, too. And that’s good! Because we need a re-definition of positive masculinity and positive femininity in both directions.

I have male clients who have already started to ask themselves: „What does positive masculinity mean for me today? What defines me as a man? What toxic features from the patriarchal age have still an impact on me and prevent me from living the way I feel good as a man today? What advantage do I have when I appreciate and integrate more female qualities into my life and job?“

By defining masculinity and femininity in a new way and giving both qualities the same importance, men and women will empower each other. If this happens tremendous positive changes in society and the business world can be made.

The following exercise will help you to empower yourself inside out.  

Awareness is the first step for change. In the first part of the exercise you get conscious about your feelings, thoughts and actions. In the second part you turn your limiting beliefs and behaviors upside down. You change them in a way that they support and encourage you in the realization of your future endeavors.

Self-Analysis & Behavioral Change

• • Observe yourself:
    • Observe your feelings, thoughts and actions.
    • Be aware of moments in which you have doubts, you make yourself smaller als you are, you hesitate, you’re asking for what you want, or you don’t speak up.
    • Write them down. It’s good to use a journal.
  • Analyse and transform these situation:
    • What did you think and how did you feel in this situation?
    • Where might these thoughts and feelings have their roots?
    • What kind of thoughts, feelings and behaviors will serve you next time to get the result you want?
    • Which resources and strengths do you have already within which can help you in this process?
    • Write your results down.
    • Imagine a future situation and apply your new belief and behavior. 
    • Take action the next time you are in such situation. 

As we all know the female empowerment process is a continuous process. You can also do these exercises with a female friend together. And don’t forget: Celebrate yourself at the end! 🙂

Write me which part of the article inspired you most? And what has been your biggest challenge in the past concerning stepping into your true female potential?

I’m looking forward to reading from you!

Heike Kolles

Vision-, Life & Business Coach | Founder of Visionsmanufaktur

Double Master in Management – ESCP Business School (Paris – Oxford – Berlin) | certified solution-focused Coach | certified Career Coach | certified Spiritual Coach |registered Management Consultant

You may like to intensify your journey of self-reflection and inner empowerment to unfold your unique female or male potential in the most purposeful and authentic way.  Then I invite you to download my 10 tipps below for free. On top you will receive in future my newest VisionBlog and VisionTalk, further inspirations about how to find and realize your visions and informations about my latest products directly in your inbox (1-2 / month). I would be happy to welcome you in my VisionCircle.

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You may also be interested in my VisionTalks. I interview women and men around the world who do what they love and get their visions on the road! They share their personal stories in an authentic way here: Sorry for the inconvenience. Work in progress! Technical issue needs to be fixed!

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